More Groupons! Andrew is saving me money with these 99 dollar purchases that presumably include much more than that in savings. I am a savvy consumer!
What have I bought for Andrew? I’m not sure. All I got was THIS PICTURE:
Looks like… golf? With up to 55% savings? Using the Google Keywords of “golf mass $99 55% off stock photo dude +distracting_pockets_on_bum” I’ve uncovered THIS, which seems to be the very Groupon page Andrew was on! MYSTERY SOLVED: he has purchased “Hickory Ridge Golf Club – South Amherst Round of Golf with Cart Rental for Two or Four (Up to 55% Off)”.
Okay I am not a guy who knows golf stuff but I am confused by the fact that this listing opens up with… Legendary Golf Lore?
When Atlantis fell, the only survivors were its golfers, whose vast knowledge of water hazards saw them to safety.
Whaaaaaaat, Groupon you are just selling the chance to knock a ball around in a pretty park. We do not need to bring myth and legend into this. Or do we? How else is this golf course described, and can it involve summoning and wizards?
Players immediately find themselves myriad obstacles on the first hole, a 509-yard par 5 with a lateral hazard running the length of the left side and an elevated green with an out-of-bounds area summoning errant shots beyond the pin.
Whoah this golf course is intense even if the wizards are a surprise so they don’t show up in the description. But what if Andrew and his guest suck at golf? Will they be, perhaps, physically abused by feet??
Before finishing the round, golfers must conquer the par 4 18th hole, which requires a long layup on the second shot and often sends unfocused golfers on their way with a bogey and a Kick Me sign as they complete the round.
At this point I thought we could check out what Hickory Ridge has to say for themselves. But let’s not because their website is pretty dull and instead, let’s take a page from Andrew and check out that Social Media link! FACEBOOK AHOY!!
Aaaand there’s nothing there. Andrew you are giving me very little to work with here. They’ve only joined Facebook this year and all the posts are by them saying “Hey golf! Play some golf maybe!” so I broke in their wall with some “Andrew Advice” that constitutes their very first wall post ever!!!!!
Andrew I hope you have fun playing your game of swing stick!!