See, you’re thinking “India House? Sounds like a restaurant” when you NEED to be thinking that it sounds more like this:
ANYWAY GUESS WHAT HUSSIE DIDN’T ABOUT 20 DOLLARS TO AN ETHNIC FRAT, HUSSIE ATE $17.07 OF INDIAN FOOD!! Here’s what he got, transmitted to me via SMS “pix messagix” technology!
Now I’m no fooditician, but I’d say that looks like tandoori chicken, served sizzling over a bed of crisp onions and bell peppers, and man, an entrée like that would go great with a side of coconut korma sauce, a house green salad and a choice of saffron rice or naan. And hey, here’s the menu! Nice! Looks like that’s exactly what it is!
Check out the other India House offerings on the menu that Hussie considered and rejected: these include a lamb dish described as “exhilarating”, a lamb and chick-pea dish described as a “dynamic duet”, and a perky chicken dish that promises to enslave your frigging taste buds. THE MENU LITERALLY PROMISES TO FORCE PART OF YOUR BODY INTO SLAVERY. This restaurant DOES NOT MESS AROUND.
It makes TOTAL SENSE THAT ANDREW WOULD DINE HERE.
Looking at reviews of this place everybody says the same thing: amazing food but not cheap. HEY GLAD I COULD HELP YOU OUT WITH THAT LAST BIT, CHAMP. THIS ONE’S ON ME. NO, NO, DON’T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT.
So here’s the bad news: that tandoori chicken experience costs $15.95. And my credit card bill shows that Andrew spent only $17.07. That’s only a 7% tip! I don’t know how you do it in American Land but here in Canada when it comes to tips we START at 15% and we go from there! ”Who can be the most generous?” we say. ”Let’s make the wait staff’s NIGHT here,” we say. ”Let’s ensure that history never forgets the name… Table 4,” we shout, over and over and over again. We throw down Queen Elizabeths IIs like they’re frigging Wilfred Lauriers.
What’s going on, man? You’re a good guy! What’s happening?? It’s not even your money! Go nuts!!
This purchase gets 5/5 for enslavement-inducing food and 0.35/5 for the 7% tip, see what I did there
UPDATE: Wait MA has a 6.25% sales tax that’s 7% in some towns so this is just the tax and Andrew probably tipped with a crisp hundred dollar bill of cold hard cash separately. NEVERMIND I TAKE IT ALL BACK, WE COOL